Saturday, December 20, 2008

Tourette Syndrome


Sometimes I really hate this disorder, like right now- this moment~ I feel like going in my room and shutting out the world. TS has come into our lives through our twelve year old son Brandon, along with obsessive compulsive disorder and oppositional defiant disorder. He has been struggling with these since he was two and a half, but didn't get diagnosed until about three years ago. Brandon has verbal as well as physical tics that come and go, but the most heartbreaking part of all this is the rage inside our son. Over the years we've had emergency services come to our home because we couldn't calm him down, he was arrested when he was nine for throwing a bottle at a friend who needed stitches in her head, suspensions from school, broken furniture, doors and holes in the walls. On top of the anger and behaviors, he has remorse and feelings of guilt and doesn't like himself very much, he really doesn't have any friends either because of these behaviors. We've been through years of counseling, individually and as a family, special programs, special education and meds. But none of that makes a difference if he doesn't do his part and use what he's learned. Sometimes he does, sometimes he doesn't. I won't even get into the effect all this has had on his nine year old sister, let's just say she's the peacemaker of the family. It's heartbreaking to love someone with all your heart, yet be so angry and feel so helpless at the same time. Sometimes it's hard not to say "Screw this- I didn't sign up for this, I GIVE UP!" But we love him too much and we'll NEVER give up on him. My prayers and wishes for Brandon are~
"Please God, please let him come to love himself, learn how to be a good friend so he can be blessed with friends and wonderful people in his world, and a chance to have a normal, healthy and happy life."
Don't know why I went into all of this here, it's just been a rough couple of days. But we WILL keep smiling~ I hope you do too! Thanks for dropping by and hearing me today.
Hugs and Smiles~
Denise

9 comments:

Lauri said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you !! I think the most difficult thing to watch is one of your children going through a tough time; you have every right to ask yourself why....as someone often tells me, "god does not give us anything he does not think we can handle"...sometimes I wonder! Feel free to vent! We are all here for you and your family!

Amy Sheffer said...

Wow, Denise, I'm so sorry to hear about your son's struggles. I think it's fantastic that you've shared it here, though - you never know whose life you could be touching! I'll pray for Brandon, too, along with your whole family!

Rhonda Kelly said...

Denise, my thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. I can't even imagine how hard it is for you and for him. Thank you for sharing your story with all of us. I do hope that things will get better. Sometimes we often wonder if we will make it through the tough times and trials that we are handed but as Lauri said I think God doesn't give us anything that we can't handle..although it does sometimes feel that way. Big Hugs to you.

LeAnne said...

Denise, thanks for sharing this with us so we can pray for you. My friend just shared a similar situation with her neighbor's son---almost like yours, to a "T". She feels the same, sometimes like throwing in the towel! I know that is not a comfort, but knowing you are not alone with the problem may be of a little help. We'll pray for ALL of you!
LeAnne

Denise (peanutbee) said...

Awww, Denise, you're in my thoughts and prayers. We've been dealing with some family issues ourselves this past week and I've felt that "throwing in the towel" feeling. Like Amy said, you never know whose life you could be touching...you just touched mine.

Hang in there, girl.

acreativeneed said...

Denise, you are stronger than you may think; just by sharing this with us, you show that courage and strength. You can only do your best and what you think is best for your son. Although you may feel helpless by times, I am sure you have helped your son in many many, ways over the years, and because of that he will learn to help himself too. Take courage, and know that people care. My thoughts are with you, and I wish you peace and joy now, and in the New year!
hugs and smiles,
Deena

JAR said...

Denise, I am so sorry for what you are going through, and for your son's struggles as well. It is so hard to be a parent in normal circumstances, and you certainly are beyond that. I continue to pray for you and especially for your son!

Anonymous said...

I came by your blog accidentally today, and read this about your son. I had the opportunity ro share a house with a woman who dated a man with Tourette's Syndrome when I was fresh out of college. It was so awkward, and I was not a nice person about the situation. We remained friends though, and throughout the years, I have matured and they have married. They are remarkable people, with remarkable children, and while there are still challenges in their lives, they are happy, fulfilled people with a nice life. Sometimes this understanding comes with age and maturity, but hopefully, more people are educated and aware in this day and age. So I will keep your family in my prayers, but I think you should be very opptomistic and hopeful that your son will develop the skills to be the person he would want to be... with your help and your strength. You can have your moments of weakness - that is when your friends will lift you up.
Kim

Kimberly said...

I had to leave the above comment as anonymous, but now I logged in and wanted you to know that I am a real person who really will keep you and your family in my prayers.